Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Spiders and Gossamer Threads and Reaching

A NOISELESS, patient spider, 
I mark’d, where, on a little promontory, it stood, isolated; 
Mark’d how, to explore the vacant, vast surrounding, 
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself; 
Ever unreeling them—ever tirelessly speeding them.         5
And you, O my Soul, where you stand, 
Surrounded, surrounded, in measureless oceans of space, 
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing,—seeking the spheres, to connect them; 
Till the bridge you will need, be form’d—till the ductile anchor hold; 
Till the gossamer thread you fling, catch somewhere, O my Soul.

Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

The first time I read Whitman I wasn't a big fan...but as with many things that I initially disliked, he has grown, grown, grown on me. (This happened with avocados recently and I am so happy that avocados taste delicious to me now. Hello to the world of delicious guacamole!)

I read this poem today and it felt right. I grew up in a family that had been members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for a long time. And in my home and at church, I was taught the scriptures and gospel of Jesus Christ. And at school and with friends and going out into the rest of the world, I was taught and shown a lot of other stuff. The longer I live, the more gossamer threads I fling out, trying to grasp what is right and wrong, what is truth, and what the hey-diddle-day I am supposed to be doing with my time and my life.

I find that I love the quest. Love the reaching. Love the longing for light. I believe that is what we are meant to feel. And in my own experience, everything keeps pointing back to these:

Ephesians 4:11-15
Helaman 5:12

Who actually is less scared of spiders than I used to be. A little.

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