My sister-in-law shared this video recently and it gnawed at my insides. Do you know what I mean? When you see or read or hear something that in your gut you know was meant for you--because you recognize something in yourself that shouldn't be there--something that needs to change. But it will require work. And doing things that make you uncomfortable. And giving up your time, as busy as you already are.
Well, that was me while I watched this video. And I've noticed that when God is trying to send me a message, it is usually one that begins to reoccur often. I don't know if He has been sending those messages my way repeatedly for the past 30 years and I am just now seeing them, or if He is watching me and says to Himself "You're ready for this now Elin. Here it is."
So first it was this video. Then it was a conversation with a friend. Then a couple of opportunities to serve presented themselves--opportunities that were difficult and inconvenient. Then I got to know a woman who gives all of her time and life and self to take care of her handicapped daughter.
It wasn't a wake-up call. It was an avalanche. But the message for me is crystal clear: Try to take every opportunity to help and serve that is placed in your path. Stop rationalizing. Stop making excuses. Opportunities to serve are opportunities to grow and be lifted above and beyond your own capacities. God doesn't need us to serve each other. He is perfectly capable of taking care of every one of us. He is the one who knows of every sparrow that falls and "clothes the lilies of the field." He allows us to serve each other because of what it does for us. Letting us take care of each other is, I suppose, often how He takes care of us.
"24 ¶aThen said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him bdeny himself, and take up hisccross, and dfolloweme.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will alose his life for my sake shall bfind it." Matthew 16:24-25
I want to be like these people who so selflessly and wondrously give of themselves--and seem so much fuller and more whole because of it. Jesus Christ exemplified this perfectly. So I'm working on letting go of the things that don't really matter and trusting that His way is the only one that really does matter.
-elin
Who is feeling the Autumn in the air! And who has 2 more lengthy article for you to read on the above topic if you aren't all tuckered out yet: this and this
I have a degree in education so I should be able to answer that question easily. But I can't. The word encompasses so much--I can't quite put a definition in words yet. Still working on my own definition for it.
I remember calling my dad after I graduated for college, preening a bit because I knew he must be so proud of me for getting my degree-- ready for him to celebrate with me. And he was excited for me. But what he said, I will never forget. He said something like, "And now your real education begins."
And boy was he right. No four-year instruction at a University could prepare me for the 6 years that came after my "formal education" was complete. A lot of learning has happened since I graduated from college.
As I was reading Elder L. Tom Perry's biography, I came across this experience that his wife shared--and it has been on my mind ever since:
"Several years ago when we were living in the state of New York, I remember attending a Relief Society Conference. President Belle S. Spafford was there. Also President Harold B. Lee--he was then Elder Lee.
Sister Spafford asked for a definition of education from the audience. Several were given. I recalled a definition give by Plato. Many centuries ago, someone asked him: 'What is a good education?' And he replied: 'A good education is that which gives to the body and to the soul all the beauty and all the perfection of which they are capable.'
I was rather pleased with myself because I was able to remember the quotation, but my elation was short-lived because when President Lee arose and addressed the group, eh said; "Well, so much for Plato.'
Then President Lee said he had his own definition of education, and he liked it better. He said: 'The best education is that which gives to the individual the strength and ability to adjust.' I remembered his words and during the ensuing years I have had many occasions to ponder his words and recognize the great wisdom they contain.
Life is filled with adjustments--joys and sorrows, trials and temptations. That's what life is all about--this is the time of our schooling. We are gaining an education from the time we enter this mortal existence until we leave it. There are always adjustments to be made, and how we make them is all important. Our actions and reactions here will determine in a large measure how we spend the rest of eternity. . . .
President Lee has also said: 'The all-important thing in life isn't what happens to you. The important thing is how you take it.'
As we consider the adjustments necessary in life, it may be well to remember the biblical story of Joseph who was betrayed by his brothers and sold into Egypt. . . .Always, Joseph stayed close to God and kept his values in proper perspective. He had the strength and courage to do right. He was able to make the best out of whatever happened to him. . . .
May we prepare ourselves so that we, like Joseph of old, will be armed with an inner strength--even the power and inspiration of God--so that no matter what happens to us in this life during our mortal school, we will cling to the iron rod of the gospel and stand firm in our testimony of truth and right."
Virginia Lee Perry as quoted in L. Tom Perry: An Uncommon Life, pages 299-300
I really liked this account, because I, like Virginia Perry, love Plato's definition of education-- and I was a bit taken aback by President Lee's response to it. And I still think Plato's definition is correct in one sense of the word "education." A loving Heavenly Father wants us to become our biggest, brightest selves. He asks us to seek perfection and even provide the perfect example for us in His Son, Jesus Christ, so that we would know what perfection spoke and acted like. (Matthew 5:48) And filling our lives with knowledge and art and experiences that enrich and beautify our lives and the lives around us is all part of that. The scriptures provide many other insights into what learning and true wisdom are (Wisdom- Guide to the Scriptures).
If wisdom and learning and seeking perfection are the end goals, then we can define education as what gets us to wisdom, learning, and eventual perfection. And in that sense, though Plato's definition is lovely, I have to say, that President Lee's definition is certainly more appropriate and applicable. Learning to adjust well to life's circumstances and not become impaired or destroyed by them, is what allows us to move forward and continue learning and growing and flourishing. The times in my life where I became hurt and angry about things that were happening to me, were the times in my life when I learned and understood the least. Once I learned to adjust and react in positive healthy ways, learning and understanding began again.
Life is the school. Learning to adjust is education. And it has been my experience that the way to adjust and learn and beautify best is through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
-elin
Who is learning that educating an almost 3-year old about using the potty is more difficult than teaching 6 periods of 7th-grade English.
"Brigham Young has said, “The person who enjoys the experience of the knowledge of the Kingdom of God on the earth, and at the same time has the love of God within him, is the happiest of any individuals on the earth. …“Where is happiness, real happiness? Nowhere but in God. By possessing the spirit of our holy religion, we are happy in the morning, we are happy at noon, we are happy in the evening; for the spirit of love and union is with us, and we rejoice in the spirit because it is of God, and we rejoice in God, for he is the giver of every good thing. ... He may be in pain, in error, in poverty, or in prison, if necessity demands, still, he is joyful. ...“Truly happy is that man or woman, or that people, who enjoys the privileges of the Gospel of the Son of God, and who know how to appreciate his blessings.” As quoted by Elder L. Tom Perry here
In less than an hour, I will be watching the first session of our church's biannual conference. The first session is specifically for women--all girl's 8 years old and up. Next Saturday evening there is a session specifically for the men. The other 4 sessions next Saturday and Sunday are for everybody.
Why do I watch almost 10 hours of people talking twice a year? Because the people who speak are inspired. I relate to their words and experiences and what they say is full of truth. And the music is beautiful.
I think I have already posted this video, but here is a short clip of one of the messages shared at conference last October.
To watch the General Women's Session that starts at 7:00 pm central time, click here.
Sometimes I don't know what I am going to write about, so I ask Elin. She said, "Write about that poem you always recite." I don't always recite it, but it is the only poem I have memorized at this point. And I am not sure it is a poem, exactly. Oh well. It comes from James Allen's book, "As a Man Thinketh," which is based on the scripture Proverbs 23:7:
Mind is the master power that moulds and makes;
and Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
the tools of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills.
He thinks in secret, it comes to pass;
Environment is but his looking glass.
(As that was from memory it might have a mistake or two. Also, I am not sure of the structure and punctuation. I just put what seemed right to me.)
This poem, or whatever, basically means that our thoughts shape our lives and world. The penultimate line is my favorite. While I don't believe in any kind of mind-reading, I do believe that our secrets become known because eventually they turn in to actions. A scripture from the Book of Mormon supports this idea:
But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not.
We have to watch ourselves, thoughts, words, and deeds. Thoughts eventually become words, which eventually become deeds. If I find that my actions aren't what I want them to be, then I need to go back to the source. It is tempting to say that I can't control my thoughts, but that isn't true. It may be that thoughts jump into my head upon seeing or hearing something, but I can choose to move on from them immediately. God has blessed us with that ability.
Forrest
--Who is thinking about an extended weekend!
Here is a quick summary of the story of Naaman in the Old Testament (2 Kings 5:1-14): Naaman was the captain of the Syrian army, enemies to Israel. Pretty powerful guy. He suffered from leprosy, and was therefore slowly decaying. He sought out the prophet Elisha to be healed, and Elisha counseled him to bathe in the Jordan River seven times. Naaman was not happy with this counsel, probably for a variety of reasons, and "went away in a rage." A wise servant told him this:
My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?
Naaman humbled himself, washed, and was healed.
So many great things to consider in this story, from the goodness of God, the role of prophets, the humility of Naaman, to the confidence of his servant. Read it yourselves and you'll see.
This passage of scripture came up in my church class a few weeks ago, and we discussed application to our own life. As we did so, it occurred to me that I had been neglecting small things while searching out great things in order to help me through a trial. I really related to Naaman.
As Naaman's servant suggested, Naaman probably was prepared to do almost anything to rid himself of his leprosy, even some great thing. So why should a simple solution upset him? (At its root is pride, I think, but that isn't what I want to get into.) From my perspective, I can see him having thoughts like these (because I have had similar thoughts myself):
I've washed a billion times! Before, during, and after getting leprosy! What difference would washing here, now, make?
My problem is way, way too big to be solved with something so simple.
Professionals (doctors, leeches, healers, whatever they would have been called) have come with better methods than this!
And so on. In the end, of course, Naaman did the simple thing and was healed. So what are simple things that I should be doing? Praying, studying scripture, obeying God's prophets, attending church meetings. Why should those things work for overcoming a trial, especially since I did them before and continue to do them during the trial? The most simple answer is because God has asked that I do them. Done in faith and humility, compliance with God's will brings His blessings. That is what healed Naaman. It certainly wasn't seven more baths. He did what God directed him to do, through the voice of a prophet, and received the sought-for blessing.
Forrest
--Who bathes at least seven times a week, (almost) always.
My recent posts, despite their irregularity, seem to be focused on parent/child relationships. Here is another one in the same vein. A week or two or more ago I found myself once again in the companionship of Evelyn, our 2.5 year-old. I can't remember now the exact circumstances, but she wanted something. In response to her request (or demand), I told her no, and then proceeded to elaborate on what she would do if I did what she wanted. I'm sure I was very wise about it. And I ended my speech by telling her, "I know you better than you know yourself." She probably hadn't been listening for most of the time, and even if she was she probably didn't understand what I meant by saying I knew her better than she herself did.
I feel like I am right about knowing her better than she knows herself. I have observed her and watched her develop, seen her personality take shape, and witnessed her responses to different situations. Which isn't to say I know her perfectly, because certainly she still surprises me, and frequently, but my position relative to hers enables me to know her better than she knows herself. What do I have going for me? Mostly time, which includes my own experiences, plus a higher capacity to reason and remember. I've been watching her respond to things since the moment she was born, and although she experienced those things, she can't recall them, and can't necessarily apply them, either.
As I made the statement, "I know you better than you know yourself," I couldn't help but think of God, my Heavenly Father, saying the same thing to me. He knows me better than I know myself. What does He have going for Him? A lot of time and experience, plus a higher capacity to reason and remember. He's been watching me respond to things since the moment I was spiritually and physically born, and although I experienced those things, I can't always recall them, and certainly can't (and sometimes won't) apply them, either.
Jeremiah 1:5 is a great example of God's knowledge of me, and each of His children:
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee.
It's as simple as that. Since being spiritually created, by God, He has known us. I don't know how much time that is on an earthly scale, and it doesn't matter really. It is safe to say that He knows us not only better than we know ourselves, but also perfectly. So when I ask for something and don't get it, or try to determine how things should happen and then they don't, I need to remember that God knows me and knows what is best for me. Because of that He can say things like:
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I've really dropped the ball on posting the last few weeks. But here I am, back at it.
Isaiah 7-9 (and 2 Nephi 17-19) are chapters filled with prophecies of destruction that are going to fall on Jerusalem. It isn't pleasant reading. But in chapter 9 (or 19) a single phrase is repeated three times (2 Nephi 19:12, 17, 21):
For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.
My interpretation of this is that despite the wrongdoings of the people, and God's displeasure with them because of those wrongdoings, His hand is still stretched out toward them. He still wants to help them and protect them, and He has put himself in a position to do so, but it can only happen when they reach back.
I've had many experiences where I was playing the role of the people of Jerusalem, and life was difficult. Sometimes I didn't understand why, but I usually knew that I was doing things wrong. The miracle is that whenever I turned toward God, and reached for Him, I did find His hand "stretched out still." It was always there, and as soon as I made the slightest move towards Him I felt His hand in my life.
Isaiah 9 and 2 Nephi 19 also contain another well-known passage of scripture, one that is particularly quoted or heard at this time of year (v. 6):
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
God extends His hand towards us by giving us His Son, Jesus Christ. It is because Christ paid for my sins that the hand is stretched out even when I am not reaching for it and "his anger is not turned away." It is because a child was born, "unto us a son is given."
For Unto Us a Child is Born--Handel's Messiah
Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Good Tidings of Great Joy: The Birth of Jesus Christ--Mormon Channel
Forrest
--Who loves all things Christmas, with the exception of the songs "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time," "Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart," and "The Christmas Shoes."
When I write up a post for this blog, it usually has to do with whatever is on my mind at the time. Occasionally, if I have nothing on my mind (which happens too often, I'm sure), I'll refer back to things that have been important to me in the past. Today is a mix of the two, I guess. I've been thinking about it for most of this year, and was reminded about it again last night as I read in the Ensign, a monthly magazine that the Church puts out. Here is the link to the article I was reading, and below is the quote that set me to thinking again:
Often we understand the truth only in part, while the whole remains yet to be learned. And in the learning, we face the uncomfortable prospect of abandoning imperfect but heretofore comforting understandings.
This year I have learned some new truths which led to the necessary abandonment of "imperfect but heretofore comforting understandings," understandings that have served me well for the most part, but ultimately were imperfect and therefore incapable of producing perfection in me. It was a hard lesson to learn, and I have at times felt like the rug has been pulled out from under me. The hardest thing of all has been to replace those imperfect understandings with perfect understandings. The aforementioned article listed five principles to help someone that is in my position:
1: God Knows Infinitely More Than We Do 2: God Shares Some of His Knowledge 3: We Can Trust God's Love 4: We Need to Seek Spiritual Affirmations 5: We May Need to Wait Upon the Lord
Each point is explained in further detail, but you can read that for yourself; I've already plagiarized most of the article.
These principles are clear and easy to understand. The difficulty lies in the doing, of course. Conceptually I can accept all these things as truth, but do I have the faith for my actions to reflect them as truth? Some more easily than others, to be sure. But knowing some are true helps me to believe that others are, which in turn helps lead me to correct actions.
Forrest
--Who wishes there wasn't a Monday after holiday breaks
Last night I saw a quote from a talk given by President Henry B. Eyring, a prophet and apostle who is in the First Presidency of the Church. The quote was striking to me because it is something that I have been thinking about lately in regards to my own actions:
We can and must go often and carefully to the word of God. If we become casual in our study of the scriptures, we will become casual in our prayers.
We may not cease to pray, but our prayers will become more repetitive, more mechanical, lacking real intent. Our hearts cannot be drawn out to a God we do not know, and the scriptures and the words of living prophets help us know Him. As we know Him better, we love Him more.
At times I feel like my prayers don't make it past the ceiling of my apartment, like they just bounce back to me. I've wondered why that is, and I think a lot of it has to do with the above quote. And there are other times when I feel like my prayers are not "lacking real intent" but still don't seem effective. What then? Another quote from the same talk:
We must also serve Him to love Him. Joseph Smith did that, finally surrendering life itself in His service. Joseph prayed with the intent to obey. That obedience always includes service to others. Service in God’s work allows us to feel a part of what He feels and come to know Him.
“For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?”As our love for Him increases, so will our desire to approach the Father in prayer.
Serving Him can be done in a variety of ways, but a succinct explanation is simply obeying His commandments. So when I find that my prayers are stuck in the same room as me, I know where to look for a solution to that problem: scripture study and service. And this time of year is great for both, as the holidays are here and thoughts are turned more to Christ.
Forrest
--Who is so thankful that Thanksgiving is nearly here!
"Let me first pose a question: What do you suppose is the greatest kind of happiness possible? For me, the answer to this question is, God’s happiness.
This leads to another question: What is our Heavenly Father’s happiness?
This may be impossible to answer because His ways are not our ways. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God’s] ways higher than [our] ways, and [His] thoughts [higher] than [our] thoughts.”1
Though we cannot understand “the meaning of all things,” we do “know that [God] loveth his children”2because He has said, “Behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”3
Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate."
"Happiness, Your Heritage," President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I spent much of last weekend making Christmas stockings.
(One of our daughters went out to her storage closet the other day and
discovered that everything they had stored there—including their Christmas
decorations--had been ruined by a leak in the apartment above them.) Part of me
felt a little guilty for spending so much time on them when there were other
“more important” things waiting to be done. At the same time, I loved what I
was doing —finding a pattern, matching fabrics, choosing decorative stitches,
thinking of ways to make them unique while keeping a unified theme, and, finally,
putting them together.
There is something satisfying, fulfilling, and joyful about the
process of creating. I love this beautiful insight into our innate desire to
create by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
Marilyn
(who is heading to the kitchen to try a new recipe for
pumpkin gnocchi)
There is a lot to like about the story of Nephi. He plays such a huge part in The Book of Mormon that I won't even attempt to get it all into this post. One of the reasons I like Nephi and his story so much is because I can see development in Nephi; the story doesn't start with him as a wise and experienced prophet. In fact, he tells us right off that he was "exceedingly young," which I would guess is between 12 and 18. A well-known scripture to member of the LDS Church comes from early in Nephi's story. He is asked by God, through his father (Lehi), to make a difficult trip and procure a written record of their people (the Israelites). Some of Nephi's brothers are resistant to this request, and Nephi says: 7 ...I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them. Everyone loves this verse and the idea that Nephi was so faithful, and rightly so. However, I don't think it is the key verse in Nephi's development. A chapter earlier we learn that Lehi has been teaching his children the gospel of Christ, and that Nephi desires to know if what his father has said is true:
16 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers...
19 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Blessed art thou, Nephi, because of thy faith, for thou hast sought me diligently, with lowliness of heart.
Like all of us, Nephi had to find out for himself what was true; he didn't automatically know, but he was willing to make the effort to find out. And because he found out for himself, he could make the bold statement of faith that he would do whatever the Lord commanded.
The next part of this story (1 Nephi 3-4) is Nephi and his brothers 'going and doing.' I love this part, too, because even though Nephi knows what God wants from him, and knows God will help him accomplish it, the task isn't much easier for knowing. In fact, the group almost loses its life, they do lose property, and a sacrifice is required of Nephi that is greater than anything he imagined (I suppose).
I have thought about this many times in connection to my own life. How many times have I received a witness from God regarding some principle of the gospel, committed to obedience, and then when the task became challenging, failed in my effort? Too many, I'll just say that. Which is why I love the example of Nephi.
Painting of Moroni, the prophet Mormon's son. He "sees our day" and knows that the words in the record will be pertinent to us in our day.
For some reason, the story of Mormon is one of my favorite stories in the Book of Mormon. This is a strange thing because the time in which Mormon lived was a time of wickedness, self-destruction, and war. But that just makes the person Mormon was all the more inspiring and ennobling.
Yes, this is Mormon, the prophet-historian who abridged the plates of Nephi. This is Mormon, who then added his own brief record to those he had abridged and then gave the entire record to his son, Moroni, before he died. This is the Mormon who is the reason this book of scripture is called The Book of Mormon. I wonder if Mormon had any idea that his name would one day be used as a nickname for people who believe his words were God's words--a nickname for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
So without further ado, here is why I admire Mormon: Mormon was a descendant of Nephi (the one who begins the record found in the Book of Mormon and who I gave some background about in a previous post) who lived about 321 AD. He had been taught the gospel of Jesus Christ as a youth and was a "sober child" and "quick to observe." But by the time he was a pre-teen, the two groups of people living on the land, the Nephites and the Lamanites, had regressed so much in their knowledge of God and even in their belief in the natural freedoms due to humanity, that hatred and war consumed their world. (The Nephites and Lamanites had a long history of hatred and war--but this time they weren't going to settle their differences or call for peace.)
Mormon writes that:
"wickedness did prevail upon the face of the whole land, insomuch that the Lord did take away his beloved disciples, and the work of miracles and of healing did cease because of the iniquity of the people.And there were no gifts from the Lord, and the Holy Ghost did not come upon any, because of their wickedness and unbelief.And I, being fifteen years of age and being somewhat of a sober mind, therefore I was visited of the Lord, and tasted and knew of the goodness of Jesus." (Mormon 1:13-15)
At 16 years of age, the Nephites, admiring Mormon's large stature and probably his aptitude for leadership, asked him to be the leader of their armies. And he accepted. Under his direction, the Nephites, despite numerous casualties, won several big battles against their enemy. However, despite Mormon's constant pleas to turn away from their selfish, hard-hearted ways and to turn back to God, relying on His perfect strength and love, the Nephites refused to change and believed that any victory they gained was a reflection of their own strength and might. They did not want to bring God into the equation. Mormon writes:
"behold, the judgments of God will overtake the wicked; and it is by the wicked that the wicked are punished; for it is the wicked that stir up the hearts of the children of men unto bloodshed." (Mormon 4:5)
There comes a point that Mormon refuses to lead them anymore since he knows God will not fight their battles for them while they are living the way they are. But eventually, as the Nephites are basically being obliterated, Mormon decides to lead them again. He says:
"they gave me command again of their armies, for they looked upon me as though I could deliver them from their afflictions.But behold, I was without hope, for I knew the judgments of the Lord which should come upon them; for they repented not of their iniquities, but did struggle for their lives without calling upon that Being who created them." (Mormon 5:1-2)
Why do I admire Mormon? Because he knew exactly who he was and he refused to let go of that knowledge and he stood firm in what was right and true--even when almost no one around him would acknowledge that truth. He had a great love for Heavenly Father. His great love for Jesus Christ is always at the center of his record. And he loved and mourned the loss of his people despite the choices they made (like in this passage). He knew they were children of God too.
"My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever." Mormon's words to his son Moroni (Moroni 9:25)
-Elin
Who is grateful for saltines and apple juice today.
When serving as a missionary for the LDS Church you are assigned a companion to work with. Your companion is with you at all times, closer than a spouse or child. Almost the only separation comes when one of you needs to use the restroom. Usually the companionship works well, but sometimes it doesn't. And as I mentioned, you don't choose your companion.
I had several companions over the course of my two-year mission, and I learned something from all of them. And I liked almost all of them. I had one that really rubbed me the wrong way, though. And because I was doing my best to serve faithfully, I felt like the issues I had with my companion needed to be resolved. I did everything I knew how to do to develop charity (the pure love of Christ, as explained by an earlier post) so that I could love my companion. I prayed for him, and for us, and for charity; I fasted for him, and for us, and for charity; I served him in small ways that I thought would help me develop charity, like polishing his shoes or waking up early to make a good breakfast. After making these efforts I would almost immediately relapse into unkind feelings toward my companion once we had to interact. It was really discouraging. Then one day while studying charity in the scriptures I came across this verse in the Book of Mormon:
Moroni 7:48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love [charity], which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.
What struck me as I read this verse is that charity is bestowedby God, which means to me that it is given how He sees fit. I had made a major mistake in trying to develop charity: I had assumed that by going through a list of good or recommended practices I would just end up having charity, like it was inevitable. Essentially I believed I would be blessed for being good. Now, I believe God does bless all His children for being good, but it happens the way He thinks is best, which may not correspond to what they think is best. I know God was teaching me a valuable lesson, which is that He blesses me because He is good, not because I am good; and my dependence on Him for everything is absolute.
Forrest
--Who always has a hard time with these one-line things
Having a child has taught me more about myself and my relationship with God than anything I have previously experienced in my life.
For instance, my little girl, Evie, has a stuffed turtle with a shell that projects the stars and moon on her ceiling. Last night, she was holding it in her hands and she started looking through the little star shaped holes directly at the light bulb in the shell. As soon as I told her not to do it, she of course tightened her hold on the turtle and stared more fiercely into the light. I explained to her that staring directly at light bulbs hurts your eyes. Did that stop her from wanting to do it? No. Same thing with walking in the street. I explain to her that it is dangerous to walk out into the street because cars drive on the road and they don't always see people walking. Basically, getting hit by a car would hurt really bad. "Big Bonk" in 2-year old language. Does she still try to spend a lot of time playing in the street. Yes.
So while the whole turtle light bulb situation was happening, I was thinking to myself, "She is so stubborn! Why would she consistently choose to do something that I tell her is not good for her eyes. That can hurt her. And then why, when she does get hurt in these situations (like when I tell her not to stand in her booster seat at the kitchen table because she could fall and hit her head....and then she falls and hits her head), why does she look at me with tears running down her cheeks as if I was the reason she fell?" Those are the thoughts running through my mind.
And then suddenly, I see myself in her. I do the same thing, all the time. Like parking in a place I shouldn't park because it's convenient--thinking this time I won't get a ticket even though I've been ticketed every other time I've parked here. And then when I get the ticket, I curse the guy who gave me the ticket. The same thing is true for me with spiritual principles--with commandments that come from Heavenly Father. And suddenly my relationship and interactions with Evie are juxtaposed with my relationship and interactions with God...except this time I am still the child. And He is telling me things He has always said--things like, "Keep the Sabbath day holy. Make it a day for spiritual things and for serving and helping others (because when you do that, you are serving and helping Me). And on this one day of the week, when you can, refrain from the normal weekday work that you do and the normal weekday recreation. And if you do this, you will be better and brighter and happier." (see Isaiah 58:13-14) And I look down and find myself wanting to tighten my grip on the silly fluff of a book that I am currently reading or wanting to sleep all day rather then put down the book or get out of bed to go do something for someone else or even just to spend quality time with my family. Things like that.
I love this quote from a talk given in a recent church conference:
"God will not act to make us something we do not choose by our actions to become. Truly He loves us, and because He loves us, He neither compels nor abandons us. Rather He helps and guides us. Indeed, the real manifestation of God's love is His commandments."
"Free Forever, to Act for Themselves" Elder D. Todd Christofferson Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
I am finding this to be more and more true in my life. That God's love is manifest in the commandments He gives and in always giving us the choice to obey them or to not obey them. And then He further manifests His love in giving us someone, a Savior, who understands us perfectly and can help us up and heal us when we fall out of the chair that we deliberately climbed despite the countless warnings about the damage it would do. I am trying to love and trust my Heavenly Father the way I hope my daughter can love and trust me.
And here's a video I really like:
-Elin
Who wishes she could become an official namer of streets. How does "turn right on Whistling Wood" and "make a left on Rhododendron Way" sound? I think I have a real aptitude for that kind of work.
Another thought-provoking quote if you are still even reading this....
"To those who believe anything or everything could be true, the declaration of objective, fixed, and universal truth feels like coercion--"I shouldn't be forced to believe something is true that I don't like." But that does not change reality. Resenting the law of gravity won't keep a person from falling if he steps off a cliff. The same is true for eternal law and justice. Freedom comes not from resisting it but from applying it. That is fundamental to God's own power. If it were not for the reality of fixed and immutable truths, the gift of agency would be meaningless since we would never be able to foresee and intend the consequences of our actions. As Lehi [a prophet in the Book of Mormon] expressed it: 'If ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act or to be acted upon..(2 Nephi 2:13).'" "Free Forever, to Act for Themselves" Elder D. Todd Christofferson Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
