To Understand - How Rare It Is

“To love is easy and therefore common - but to understand - how rare it is!” ― L.M. Montgomery

I could easily spend the rest of this post refuting the statement "To love is easy and therefore common"--but I'm not going to. For my purposes, I like this quote because there is an aspect or definition of love that is easy and common. For instance, I love homemade chocolate chip cookies. I love curling up on a couch and reading a good book. I love going on walks with my little girl (except when this angry, white duck attacks me...which is a whole other story). I love hiking up to a waterfall and feeling the spray from it on my face. I fell "in love" with several boys when I was between the ages of 8 and 22. I also love listening to certain people sing varying from Barry Manilow to Martina McBride to Pavarotti. So there. Most of us, in that sense, probably find that love is easy and common. 

I am not quite sure exactly when it was that I first realized how good it felt to be understood--but one time that stands out in my mind was in college. My sister and I were supposed to go to a church activity--but on a whim, we decided instead to go to the University's production of Hamlet. And it was amazingly good. Probably the best acting we felt like we had seen while we had been at school. After the play, we got some ice cream at a local store and walked to a nearby park where we sat in the sunshine and talked about Hamlet and us and life in general. And it just felt so good--being with someone who really knew me and really knowing somebody else. My sister and I have some very big differences in personality--but we have known each other our entire lives and few people understand me like she does. 

That is a blissful example. There are also examples that hurt. A lot. And in those times, I felt like nobody could understand. And then I met people who had been through similar "hells" and as wrong as it felt to be glad that somebody understood (because it meant that they hurt a lot too), it still was nice to have someone understand.

And I believe that we have a Heavenly Father and a Redeemer, who truly do understand us. Every part of us. One of them understands because He is omniscient and because we are His children. A literal part of Him. The other one understands because He felt every bit of pain and struggle and weakness and temptation that we have ever felt or will feel. I don't believe this because it makes me feel better to believe in something bigger that understands me. As I've mentioned before, I have found that there are many people here already who have had similar experiences and who can understand, to a degree, who I am and what I have experienced. 

I believe in Them because everything that I have read, thought, doubted, believed, experienced has filled me with a certainty that God is our Father and Christ is His Son. "I think, therefore, I am."  Yes, but also: "I am, therefore, They are." 

(Exodus 33:17, Jeremiah 1:5, Alma 30:44, Job 19:25)

Greatest in the Kingdom, J. Kirk Richards

"There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens. And because of His infinite and eternal sacrifice (see Alma 34:14), He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power." 

Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease, David A. Bednar

-Elin

Who knows she doesn't understand a whole lot of things...but is still working to understand the things that seem to matter most...

Patience

"Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith." (Mosiah 23:21)

When I came across this verse while reading the Book of Mormon the other day, I realized that this is my life. My patience and my faith are constantly being tried through daily life experiences. Ten years ago it was making it through my sophmore year of college. Five years ago it was almost losing myself in debilitating anxiety. Two years ago, it was my husband's brain surgery. Today, it is taking care of two beautiful children after a sleepless night. Who knows what next year's test will be, or even tomorrow's.

But I am realizing that this is what it boils down to: Will I turn to Heavenly Father and do life His way, relying on the help and grace of His son, Jesus Christ? And then will I be patient as I go through each day and trust that He is answering my prayers and delivering me from my own forms of bondage, even if I don't see the results right away?

It is so hard sometimes to remember, to keep that perspective. So I appreciate the reminder that is in the story of Alma and the members of the church during his time (story found in the book of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon). They had all recently heard the word of God, first through the prophet Abinadi, and then through Alma, who had listened to Abinadi's words, felt their truth, and then repented and with the Savior's help, changed his way of life. Many people listened to Alma and felt the truth of his words and underwent the same transformation. They had willingly chosen to turn away from past ways and turn toward God and His way of living, when another group of people found them and essentially subjugated them. Seems a little strange that God would reward the people who turn to Him with physical defeat and subjugation.

However, Alma and his people did not despair. They simply prayed -- I imagine they prayed more fervently and frequently and:

"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord. And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage." (Mosiah 24:15-16)

The Lord did not remove the burden right away, but He did strengthen them and their ability to function with the burden still on their backs. I don't know how long Alma and his people had to live under the dominance of another government. But however long it was, they remained faithful and true to the God to whom they had pledged themselves and eventually, their faith and patience was "so great" that the Lord completely delivered them out of physical bondage.

To have that kind of faith and patience--the kind that draws power down from heaven--the kind that brings deliverance. That is the kind of faith and patience I want. But it seems you only get that kind of faith and patience through difficulty and struggles and heartaches. Consider Abraham and Sarah who wanted a child. Consider what Abraham was asked to do once he had the child. Consider Job. Consider Noah's family on that long ride in the ark. Consider the widow and Elijah. Consider just about every story in the scriptures--every life story, in fact.

I had the privilege of knowing a wonderful man who, like all of us, had experienced difficult things in his life. But it was amazing to watch the way he devoted just about every scrap of time to trying to help others. I remember one story that I heard him tell multiple times. Every time he told it, I wondered why he kept repeating it. I thought he might be going a bit senile. It was a simple story that went something like this: At church one day, he noticed a woman he knew become very emotional. When he approached her to ask if he could help her in any way, she merely said that she was fine. That God had just recently answered a prayer that she had been praying for 20+ years.

I am beginning to understand why that story deserves to be repeated. That woman is the epitome of faith and patience.

One last thought: Later on in Alma's story, the "immediate goodness of God" is mentioned in relation to his people's deliverance from bondage (Mosiah 25:10). But the thing is, they weren't immediately delivered. They had to endure the burdens for awhile before deliverance came. So though escape from sorrow and pain and trial did not come immediately, it was still evident to them that God was immediately good. He is always immediately good, even if we don't recognize how the situation we are in will ever be for our good.

I have so much to learn about patience and faith.

"Paul, speaking to the Hebrews, brings us up short by writing that, even after faithful disciples had 'done the will of God,' they [had] need of patience' (Hebrews 10:36). How many times have good individuals done the right thing only to break or wear away under subsequent stress, canceling out much of the value of what they had already so painstakingly done? Sometimes that which we are doing is correct enough but simply needs to be persisted in patiently, not for a minute or a moment but sometimes for years. Paul speaks of the marathon of life and of how we must 'run with patience the race that is set before us' (Hebrews 12:1).  Paul did not select the hundred-meter dash for his analogy." Neal A. Maxwell, Patience, BYU Devotional, November 1979

-Elin
Whose 2 year old just voluntarily went and took a nap. Miracles happen.

"There is also a dimension of patience which links it to a special reverence for life. Patience is a willigness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe, rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. Put another way, too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of rising. So it is with us. If we are are always selfishly taking our temperature to see if we are happy, we will not be.

When we are impatient, we are neither reverential nor reflective because we are too self-centered. Whereas faith and patience are companions, so are selfishness and impatience. It is so easy to be confrontive without being informative; so easy to be indignant without being intelligent; so easy to be impulsive without being insightful. It is so easy to command others when we are not in control of ourselves."

Neal A. Maxwell, Patience, BYU Devotional, November 1979

Thanksgiving: The Five Fs

We will be going to my in-laws for Thanksgiving, and typically before we start the Thanksgiving Dinner we go around the table three times and each say one thing we're grateful for on each pass. Mine vary, of course, but on that particular day sometimes I think of the Fs in my life: Faith, Family, Friends, Football, and Food. (I think F has too much of a negative connotation, by the way. It's a very valuable letter.) I could go into detail about each one of these things and how they improve my life, but I won't; I will confine it to the first two, Faith and Family.

One definition of faith is "a system of religious belief." By this definition, I feel like the system of religious belief to which I ascribe is firmly fixed on Jesus Christ. My own personal system of religious belief is not as firmly fixed. I try my best to center my system of religious belief on Jesus Christ, and I am not perfect at it. Or even very good at it. But I try, and when I learn that I am off base, I make an effort to correct myself so that I am more centered on Jesus Christ. I can safely say that I know that all good things in my life have come because of Jesus Christ and my belief in Him as my Savior and Redeemer. And that all future good things will come from that same source.

One of the good things in my life, if not the best, is my family. Quick story: once when I was in middle school I was complaining to a teacher about something not being "fair." She responded that life isn't fair, to which I responded "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?" (I was quoting a classic work, Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes.) She then said something very profound: "It was unfair in your favor when you were born into the family that you were." She was right. My family is my biggest blessing, and one that it's easiest to be grateful for, because of my frequent interactions with them. When the preceding conversation took place, my family was my parents and siblings. Now it includes my in-laws (see previous post for how I feel about them); and my wife, Elin (see her post about gratitude and thanksgiving); and little girl Evelyn. Soon there will be another in that group. These people are perhaps the greatest evidence of God's love for me, individually. They inspire me to be better and help me to be more centered on Christ. Which, in turn, leads to more good things in my life.

 

 

 

Forrest

--Who is in actuality grateful for friends, football, and food, too. They just would have made the post overlong.

 



Ramblings About A Kitten

While we have been living in South Carolina, I started volunteering at an animal shelter. I mostly just go clean cat cages. I have been very impressed with the shelter. It is very clean and they treat the animals well. It is run on donations and volunteers. It seems that new animals get brought in every day.

Lately, we have been working with a feral, or wild, kitten. He had climbed up in a truck and gotten stuck. After a couple days the owner of the truck was able to get him out and bring him in. The first time I reached my hand to pet him and hold him he hissed at me, got in the furthest corner of the kennel, and curled up in a tight ball. Kittens cannot be adopted until they are 8 weeks old and this kitten is estimated to be around 6 weeks. We have two weeks to prepare him to be adopted and not to be afraid of people.

The first day with him, Ben spent about three hours with him. He even named him, Lil Badger. Ben took the time to show him where his food was, feed him by hand, wrap him up in a towel and hold him tight. We were told that wrapping him in a towel or blanket while holding him would make him feel more secure. We were also told it might be a while before he stopped hissing and started purring. Near the end of the first day, while Ben was petting him, he began to purr.

The next day we went to pet him and again, he hissed at us. After 20  minutes he wouldn't hiss but would play with us.

The next day, he hissed again but not as much. After I vacuumed it was like starting at the beginning with him. He hid from us and wanted nothing to do with us.

Now, a week later, he trusts us. Occasionally he will hiss when he gets really scared; otherwise, he meows and purrs. He likes to be around us and wants to play constantly. As I'm typing this he is sitting under my chair.

I've been thinking a lot lately about trust. Trust and faith. They are necessary for us to feel peace. Faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ. Trusting that if we rely on the Savior that he will help, guide, and direct us.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced times of having a weak testimony and when my trust is almost nonexistent. Looking back, I realize I would try to comfort myself. I would try to find my own peace. It did not work. Luckily, I realized it didn't work and that I needed to change.

Matthew 11:28 says,

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

The Savior will help us find peace and by relying on the Savior through our struggles, he will give us rest. I know this to be true.  Just as Lil Badger now feels safe and secure with us; we can experience security and safety in the arms of our Savior.

Ry-who's rocking it on xbox

Enos: My Soul Hungered

Enos is a prophet in the Book of Mormon whose father, Jacob, was also a prophet. When Jacob was old and about to die he met with his son. He gave his son the record he had been keeping, which had been passed down to each prophet, and Enos promised obedience. After Jacob died, Enos went out hunting one day and began to ponder the things which Jacob had taught him. He says,

 "And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens."

Enos prayed for a day and a night. He prayed for his own soul, for the souls of his people, and also for his enemies, the Lamanites. He also prayed for the record to be preserved, this record is The Book of Mormon. As Enos prayed he received answers and he went about preaching to the people. In his lifetime he saw many wars and when he was about to die he handed down the record to his son, Jarom. His final words in the record are,

"And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen."

(For the full story, check out Enos 1.)

 There are so many things I love about Enos. He had so much faith and charity. He prayed for the welfare of his enemies. As I read the book of Enos, which is just one chapter, I feel the desire to be better. I pray to have the hungering in my soul that Enos experienced. I used to wonder how Enos spent so much time in prayer and now as I pray, with real intent, I feel like I understand a little bit better. Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve apostles spoke about pray and compared it to a combination lock. He said,

"Petitioning in prayer has taught me, again and again, that the vault of heaven with all its blessings is to be opened only by a combination lock. One tumbler falls when there is faith, a second when there is personal righteousness; the third and final tumbler falls only when what is sought is, in God's judgement--not ours--right for us. Sometimes we pound on the vault door for something we want very much and wonder why the door does not open. We would be very spoiled children if that vault door opened anymore easily than it does. I can tell, looking back, that God truly loves me by inventorying the petitions He has refused to grant me. Our rejected petitions tell us much about ourselves but also much about our flawless Father." Neal A. Maxwell, “Insights,” New Era, Apr. 1978, 6 

-Ryanne
Who forgot to include a fun tidbit about herself so Elin will just say that being around Ryanne is like being around a big burst of sunshine. 

Ammon: faith, hope, humility, courage, and love

One of my favorite stories from the Book of Mormon is about a missionary named Ammon. It has been a favorite for a long time, dating back to the illustrated Book of Mormon days (a simplified kids' version with pictures). My reason for liking the story has changed over time, though. Here is a brief summary of Ammon's story, beginning with his choice to be a missionary (Alma 17-20, 26-27).

Ammon, three of his brothers, and some others decide to go preach the gospel to the Lamanites, who are not only uninterested in the message, but generally are enemies to Ammon's people, the Nephites. The missionaries feel like it is their duty to try and teach the Lamanites, no matter what. Ammon finds himself in a sub-kingdom and meets the king, who asks him what he wants. He tells him he would like to be the king's servant. His first task is to care for the king's sheep, along with some other servants. While watering the flock, a group of men drive the sheep away, hoping to claim some for themselves. Ammon leads the other servants in gathering the sheep and taking them back to the water. The men attempt to drive away the sheep again, but Ammon starts to fight them, by himself. He takes out six with a sling before the group rushes him with clubs. He then proceeds to cut their arms off with his sword, and kill their leader. The rest flee. (You can see why a young boy would like this story, right?) Ammon's fellow servants then gather the detached arms to show the king, because they're super impressed. The king ends up being super impressed, too, and is sure Ammon is more than a man. Ammon then gets the opportunity to explain to King Lamoni that the power he used to defeat the aggressors came from God, which then allows him to teach Lamoni all about God and His Son, Jesus Christ. The king is converted, along with his household and many in his sub-kingdom.

A short time later, Ammon is accompanying King Lamoni to see Lamoni's father, who is king over all the Lamanites. They meet the king on the way, and the king is not happy to find his son, Lamoni, with a Nephite, their sworn enemies. Lamoni tries to explain what happened, which makes his dad angry. His dad then threatens him before Ammon intercedes. His dad then tries to fight Ammon, and Ammon injures him to the point he can't defend himself. The king then tells Ammon he'll give him anything he wants, if Ammon will spare his life. Ammon says he'll only spare his life if he agrees to let Lamoni continue on his chosen path and free Ammon's brothers, to which the king agrees. A few chapters later the story is told of the king's own conversion through one of Ammon's brothers, and the king specifically mentions being very impressed by the obvious love that Ammon had for his son, Lamoni, to the point that he was willing to hear what the missionaries had to say.

I like this story because I see in it everything I would like to be. I would like to have the faith to appoach any enemy because I believed it is God's will; I would like to have the hope that no righteous effort is wasted; I would like to have the humility to serve in the lowliest position; I would like to have the courage to stand against attackers, by myself, if necessary; I would like to have so much love for those around me that others would be moved toward God by it; and I would like to be able to do all this without one thought for personal gain or glory, but for my love for God.

-Forrest
Who is developing sweet sling skills.

Through Faith on His Name

Today I want to just include some verses from The Book of Mormon that I read this morning, and let you ponder it yourself. For context, this is a king making his final address to his people, and takes place close to 100 BC in the ancient Americas. Mosiah 3:5-9:

5 For behold, the time cometh, and is not far distant, that with power, the Lord Omnipotent who reigneth, who was, and is from all eternity to all eternity, shall come down from heaven among the children of men, and shall dwell in a tabernacle of clay, and shall go forth amongst men, working mighty miracles, such as healing the sick, raising the dead, causing the lame to walk, the blind to receive their sight, and the deaf to hear, and curing all manner of diseases.

 6 And he shall cast out devils, or the evil spirits which dwell in the hearts of the children of men.

 7 And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.

 8 And he shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; and his mother shall be called Mary.

 9 And lo, he cometh unto his own, that salvation might come unto the children of men even through faith on his name;

Forrest
--Who needs more faith (and the weekend)

Hope Remained

Cerulean Warbler, Photograph by Wil Hershberge,
Nationalgeographic.com

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

Emily Dickinson, The Poems of Emily Dickinson Edited by R. W. Franklin (Harvard University Press, 1999)

 To Emily Dickinson, hope was like a bird that "perches" within us and keeps us warm despite the problems and "storms" all around us. In Greek mythology, hope was the last thing Pandora (the first human woman, created by the gods) found in the jar (or what we think of now as a box) that was given to her as a wedding present. She was instructed not to open the jar, but naturally opened it anyway subsequently unleashing all evil which spread throughout the earth. But there at the bottom of the jar, hope remained.

I think it is safe to say that hope is a universal concept--something everyone has felt at some point in their lives; but it is a concept that has always been hard for me to wrap my brain around, especially the times in my life when I have felt hopelessness or despair. But writers and cultures and scripture promise that hope is something that is always there if we reach out for it. And that if we have hope, we will be happy (Proverbs 10:28) and when our hope is grounded in the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ, it will be an anchor (Ether 12:4) and protection (1 Thes. 5:8) to us--and a motivation for us to keep doing what Heavenly Father asks, even when it doesn't always make sense in the moment. (like Abraham who "against hope believed in hope" as explained in Romans 4:18-21.)

I didn't really understand how hope could play such a vital role in our lives until I had an experience in a class while I was working at a University. I had already completed my Bachelor's degree and was working full-time for the University, but I decided to take a few classes related to some of my current interests. After reviewing the work I did for one of my classes, the professor took me aside and told me something like "I think you have a talent for this, Elin" and he told me I should apply to a graduate program related to the subject we were studying. That is all he said, but for some reason, it changed my entire perspective about myself and my capabilities and my future. I had faith in the professor's opinion because he had been studying and teaching the subject for years...it was a huge part of his life. And so those few words that he said to me gave me more hope in my own abilities and work beyond what merely believing in myself could do. (Don't get me wrong...Belief in self is absolutely necessary too!)

That experience opened up to me the kind of hope that faith in God and his messages to His children can do for me and I can see how that kind of hope can move a person forward, even in the darkest times. (For more on hope, this talk is wonderful.)

-Elin

Who really wants to eat an entire jar of candy corn at this very moment....disgusting, right?

Weak Things Become Strong

Last night as we were taking a walk, I shared some concerns with Ben about insecurities and weakness I have. He listened patiently, put his arm around me, and when I was through, he looked at me said, “Well, with the Lord’s help we can make these strengths.”

I am grateful for Ben’s response to my concerns and it was just what I needed to hear. I am even more grateful for a loving Savior who wants us to be strong. He helps us recognize weakness and he helps us change them into strengths. Jacob 4:7 says,

“Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things.”

Ether 12:27 says,

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

There are countless examples in the scriptures of this process and I have had many experience in my life where, because of a willing, faithful heart, I have seen people change and become stronger. I am thankful for God’s grace and His ability to make us better. 

Ryanne

-Who enjoys going on walks

Faith is...

"There are two kinds of faith. One of them functions ordinarily in the life of every soul. It is the kind of faith born by experience; it gives us certainty that a new day will dawn, that spring will come, that growth will take place. It is the kind of faith that relates us with confidence to that which is scheduled to happen.  There is another kind of faith, rare indeed. This is the kind of faith that causes things to happen. It is the kind of faith that is worthy and prepared and unyielding, and it calls forth things that otherwise would not be. It is the kind of faith that moves people. It is the kind of faith that sometimes moves things. Few men possess it. It comes by gradual growth. It is a marvelous, even a transcendent, power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity. Directed and channeled, it has great effect." — Boyd K. Packer, "What is Faith?" "Faith," [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1983], p. 42

I have a very good friend who is a seeker of truth. She looks for truth in the world around her but still struggles with the concept of God. Years ago, during a conversation with her, she said, "You are lucky that faith comes so easily to you." For some reason, that bothered me. I didn't like the idea that some for some people, faith was just easier. That makes is seem a little unfair for those seeking truth who don't have a natural inclination to believe in God or that Jesus Christ is our Savior. (Not that anything in life is necessarily "fair" in that sense of the word.)

One of our Church's (and probably any religion's) most fundamental doctrines is faith. In fact, "We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ..." (You can see an outline of our fundamental beliefs here.)

First comes faith. As with a lot of things in my life, I thought I understood what faith was until life got hard. And then I struggled. I believed in God and in Jesus Christ--but did I believe that they could help me in my day to day life and struggles? Did I believe that I could be better today than I was yesterday? Did I believe that I could change? The promise is that true faith in Jesus Christ gives us the capacity to overcome hard things and to truly change (Like He promises here and here and here.)

What I have come to realize through study and prayer and experience is that faith is gift from God. The desire to believe in Him may come more easily to some than others initially. But once you have that desire to believe, you have to work to have more faith and to understand and see Heavenly Father's hand in your life and in the world around you. Just like you have to work and experience things to obtain any other kind of knowledge or belief, faith in Jesus Christ requires effort. It requires studying God's words through His prophets. It requires "trying out" or experimenting on those words.

"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words."  Alma 32:27

So yes, the desire to believe or ability to believe that God is real might be easier for some initially. But once you have that desire, everyone has to work hard to keep it. To understand it. To develop the kind of faith in a Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that allows them to truly change you and make you more than you could ever be on your own.

When my little girl was learning to walk, I would hold onto the back of her shirt and follow behind her. As long as she felt the tug of my hand on her shirt, she felt like she had enough support to walk by herself. And then I started to let go. She would walk a few steps on her own, but once she realized I wasn't holding on anymore, she would grab onto her own shirt. It was kind of funny because obviously, her grip on her own shirt would ultimately do nothing to keep her on her feet. She couldn't hold herself up with her own hand. She needed somebody else to hold her up when she was unsteady. It was kind of funny until I realized that I do the same thing in my own life....I hold onto myself sometimes, as if I can really keep myself from falling just by holding onto my shirt.

I have had to reason things out in my mind and study and think things through and ask a lot of questions. And sometimes, I have had to get out of my own way--let go of myself and what I thought I understood...because my reasoning and logic wasn't enough. When I have done these things, I have found and been given answers and felt peace every time. Sometimes the answers came immediately. Other times, they took a LONG time to come. But I have had prayers answered in inexplicable ways. Miraculous ways. And this makes my faith stronger. I believe that anyone can have this experience if they put the thought and work into.

For those of you who struggle to even believe that God is real and that He loves you and wants you to be happy, but don't see how that can be possible because of the world we live in and the things you have had to face in your life--or simply because it logically doesn't make sense to you-- I like the example that Bruce C. Hafen gives in a speech he gave a few years ago about the battle between reason and faith:

He showed this painting by Eugene Bernard. 

It is a depiction of Christ's disciples, Peter and John, who have just been told that Jesus was alive. Someone had seen him. It defied all reason. These 2 men had watched their friend die on a cross. They had seen his broken, lifeless body in the tomb. So why are they hurrying down the road to the place where Christ supposedly will be? It is because they cling to the belief that it is possible. It is worth it for them to put in the effort to go and see. It is worth the trip down the road if there is the slightest possibility that their friend has defied all natural laws and risen from the dead. And even though it makes no sense to their brains, they want it to be true. And it was true.

Elin

Who is still working on her faith...