I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself

First attempt at painting toe nails

My recent posts, despite their irregularity, seem to be focused on parent/child relationships. Here is another one in the same vein. A week or two or more ago I found myself once again in the companionship of Evelyn, our 2.5 year-old. I can't remember now the exact circumstances, but she wanted something. In response to her request (or demand), I told her no, and then proceeded to elaborate on what she would do if I did what she wanted. I'm sure I was very wise about it. And I ended my speech by telling her, "I know you better than you know yourself." She probably hadn't been listening for most of the time, and even if she was she probably didn't understand what I meant by saying I knew her better than she herself did.

I feel like I am right about knowing her better than she knows herself. I have observed her and watched her develop, seen her personality take shape, and witnessed her responses to different situations. Which isn't to say I know her perfectly, because certainly she still surprises me, and frequently, but my position relative to hers enables me to know her better than she knows herself. What do I have going for me? Mostly time, which includes my own experiences, plus a higher capacity to reason and remember. I've been watching her respond to things since the moment she was born, and although she experienced those things, she can't recall them, and can't necessarily apply them, either.

As I made the statement, "I know you better than you know yourself," I couldn't help but think of God, my Heavenly Father, saying the same thing to me. He knows me better than I know myself. What does He have going for Him? A lot of time and experience, plus a higher capacity to reason and remember. He's been watching me respond to things since the moment I was spiritually and physically born, and although I experienced those things, I can't always recall them, and certainly can't (and sometimes won't) apply them, either.

Jeremiah 1:5 is a great example of God's knowledge of me, and each of His children:

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee.

It's as simple as that. Since being spiritually created, by God, He has known us. I don't know how much time that is on an earthly scale, and it doesn't matter really. It is safe to say that He knows us not only better than we know ourselves, but also perfectly. So when I ask for something and don't get it, or try to determine how things should happen and then they don't, I need to remember that God knows me and knows what is best for me. Because of that He can say things like:

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

In-laws and the Great Commandment

Me fixing a leaky faucet at the in-laws. Hat and headlight courtesy of father-in-law.

My family and I spent the Halloween weekend at my in-law's home, outside of Dallas. My wife, her sisters, an aunt and Mom were getting together for something they call a "sisters reunion." You might be asking how I fit into that group. Chauffeur.

The common depiction of in-laws in popular media shows relationships I would never want, generally in a home to which I would never want to go. A quick Google search brought me this succinct quote about in-laws from Mark Twain (I don't claim any authenticity), as well as much more that I wouldn't put on this post:

"Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law."

I don't know how true that is in real life for the majority of people, but for me it couldn't be further (farther? I never know) from the truth. While occasionally I do get roped into fixing a fence or something like that, I look at my in-laws' home as a sanctuary from all that is bad about this world and as an example for what I want my home to be. My parents-in-law aren't perfect, but I'm not either and they know it and still love me.

What is it that makes their home such a great place? The hot tub. Just kidding, they don't have one. Them, obviously. What is so great about them? The short answer is that they believe and live the same answer that Christ gave to the lawyer who asked what was the great commandment of the law:

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

When those commandments are obeyed, any place can be a sanctuary. A hymn sometimes sung in our church meetings is called "Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth" and the first verse is as follows: 

 Home can be a heav'n on earth

When we are filled with love,

Bringing happiness and joy,

Rich blessings from above—

Warmth and kindness, charity,

Safety and security—

Making home a part of heaven,

Where we want to be.

31243, Hymns, Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth, no. 298

Forrest 

--Who also includes his own parents' home in this category

Mothers, You Are Magnificent

“Stay on the toilet while you’re going potty!”

“No, you cannot have a sip of melatonin!”

“I had to put a lock on my refrigerator so the boys won’t get in it.”

“Before you get a treat you have to show me a cool dance move.”

“Don’t fight with real knives!”

“Just because you know fighting moves does not mean you can use them on your sister.”

The few phrases above are from phone conversations I have had with sisters that are interrupted by these phrases or similar ones. I have 6 sisters and sisters-in law, a wonderful mother-in-law and a loving mother who are great examples to me over motherhood. I grew up in a loving home, believing I had one of the best moms in the world and as I’ve grown and matured, I realize that I was right. My mom is a light in darkness. She shines bright and does her best to share her light. I am blessed to have married a man whose mother is also one of a kind in her graciousness. I could go on for ages about how amazing examples these two women are in my life.

I have many examples of motherhood in my life between sisters, sisters-in-law, and close friends. One things that stands out to me as I watch these women I love mother their children; they all have different methods and parenting styles but all those methods work for them and their families. I am generally in awe that such different methods yield similar results it is because they have one things in common: They are all in line with ‘The Family: A Proclamation to the world’ which states,

 “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live…. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principle of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreation activities… In these sacred responsibilities, father and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

Being a mother is a huge responsibility, one that I look forward to with eagerness. I am blessed to have so many great examples in my life. I know that no one could have taught me to love more fiercely and constantly, and to show kindness no matter the circumstance than my own mother. She will always be an example to me.

I know that because I am a woman, I have been called to be a mother. Even though I do not have children I can still fulfill this calling; by following the example of the many mothers in my life; by showing love to all those who need it. I know as I work to do this I will become more Christlike because that is what I have seen in the lives of my mom, mother-in-law, and sisters.

In closing, I would like to recognize that being a mother is tough. Again, I do not know this from experience but from watching my examples. I get a lot of chuckles from listening to things my sisters say to their children when I’m on the phone with them but I also listen as they tell me of their struggles, heart aches, and their pains. To mothers everywhere, and especially to my own, I would like to quote Elder Jeffery R. Holland, an apostle of the Lord, 

“May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”

 -Ry
Who loves all her nieces and nephews

Parents in absentia

Imagine that you are a child, let's say preteen, and your parents are going to be away for awhile. Let's also say your parents are as perfect as possible, for the sake of this scenario, and therefore love you perfectly. You have some contact with your parents via radio or phone, something of that nature. No visual, though. And for whatever reason (but it's your fault), the device you are using to talk to your parents isn't functioning properly; they hear everything you say to them, but you only occasionally here what they say, and it is generally fuzzy and difficult to understand. What would perfect, loving parents do in a situation like this in order to insure that you are safe, doing what you should, and getting what you need?

Awhile back, during my normal scripture study, I decided to look for evidences of Heavenly Father's love for me. I wasn't looking up scriptures with the word love or something similar included, but rather reading straight through the scriptures and trying to identify examples of His love. I was reading in The Book of Mormon and came upon an example immediately, in 2 Nephi 6:2-4.

In these verses I identified three ways that God shows His love for me (and all His children):

1. He calls and ordains to His holy order people who teach me many things and are concerned for the welfare of my soul;
2. He exhorts, or encourages, me towards doing what's right through those people;
3. He teaches me truth about what is and is to come, through those He called.

Now returning to our imaginative scenario and the question posed: what would the parents do? Isn't the answer the same thing that I found in the scriptures? They would find reliable people and give them the authority to act on their behalf in your best interest; through those people they would encourage you to do what is right; and they would clarify what is right by teaching truth about what is and what is to come.

I know that God loves me. One proof is that He has called prophets and apostles, both ancient and modern, in order to communicate to me what He wants for me. This Saturday and Sunday I will witness again His love for me as I listen to those prophets and apostles speak His will.

Forrest
--who is glad his football team is playing on Friday this week