I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself

First attempt at painting toe nails

My recent posts, despite their irregularity, seem to be focused on parent/child relationships. Here is another one in the same vein. A week or two or more ago I found myself once again in the companionship of Evelyn, our 2.5 year-old. I can't remember now the exact circumstances, but she wanted something. In response to her request (or demand), I told her no, and then proceeded to elaborate on what she would do if I did what she wanted. I'm sure I was very wise about it. And I ended my speech by telling her, "I know you better than you know yourself." She probably hadn't been listening for most of the time, and even if she was she probably didn't understand what I meant by saying I knew her better than she herself did.

I feel like I am right about knowing her better than she knows herself. I have observed her and watched her develop, seen her personality take shape, and witnessed her responses to different situations. Which isn't to say I know her perfectly, because certainly she still surprises me, and frequently, but my position relative to hers enables me to know her better than she knows herself. What do I have going for me? Mostly time, which includes my own experiences, plus a higher capacity to reason and remember. I've been watching her respond to things since the moment she was born, and although she experienced those things, she can't recall them, and can't necessarily apply them, either.

As I made the statement, "I know you better than you know yourself," I couldn't help but think of God, my Heavenly Father, saying the same thing to me. He knows me better than I know myself. What does He have going for Him? A lot of time and experience, plus a higher capacity to reason and remember. He's been watching me respond to things since the moment I was spiritually and physically born, and although I experienced those things, I can't always recall them, and certainly can't (and sometimes won't) apply them, either.

Jeremiah 1:5 is a great example of God's knowledge of me, and each of His children:

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee.

It's as simple as that. Since being spiritually created, by God, He has known us. I don't know how much time that is on an earthly scale, and it doesn't matter really. It is safe to say that He knows us not only better than we know ourselves, but also perfectly. So when I ask for something and don't get it, or try to determine how things should happen and then they don't, I need to remember that God knows me and knows what is best for me. Because of that He can say things like:

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Little Children

Recently I have taken on more responsibilities regarding our 2.5 year-old daughter, due to the fact that we have a new baby in the house. For the most part, this has been an enjoyable experience. Entirely, it is a learning experience. One of the great things about being a parent is the perspective it gives about my own parents, including my Heavenly Parents, and my relationship with them.

A few weeks ago around bed time my daughter was putting up a fight and she dropped her water bottle, which she is very attached to (fortunately it is nearly indestructible plastic; one of the great advancements of our age). In her highly emotional state she cried for me to pick it up for her. The bottle was probably six inches from her foot. All she had to do was bend over and pick it up. Because it was so easy for her to do, I declined to do it for her and told her to pick it up. And she really hollered about it. At this point we were both feeling stubborn, I suppose. I was irritated that she was having such a meltdown over something both insignificant and easily remedied. I'm not sure what she was feeling, except that she didn't want to pick up the bottle.

In my head I was thinking, You silly child, the bottle is RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! Just PICK IT UP! At the same time I had to wonder how many times Heavenly Father has had similar thoughts regarding me and my behavior (although certainly His thoughts are more loving than mine were). How many time have I just needed to reach out and grab whatever it was I was looking for, but didn't because I was distracted by emotions or other temporal needs and desires? And how often have I demanded His help when He has already provided whatever I need? More often than I can imagine, I imagine.

One of the reasons I don't see or comprehend or accept His offers is explained by these verses in Isaiah 55, which I have used before:

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.


It's my continued responsibility to seek to understand His ways and thoughts, in order to become more like Him.

Forrest
--Who is glad for a day that actually feels like winter, but hopes it doesn't last very long



Evie and her water bottle

Falling off chairs...What are rules for anyway?

Having a child has taught me more about myself and my relationship with God than anything I have previously experienced in my life.

For instance, my little girl, Evie, has a stuffed turtle with a shell that projects the stars and moon on her ceiling. Last night, she was holding it in her hands and she started looking through the little star shaped holes directly at the light bulb in the shell.  As soon as I told her not to do it, she of course tightened her hold on the turtle and stared more fiercely into the light. I explained to her that staring directly at light bulbs hurts your eyes. Did that stop her from wanting to do it? No. Same thing with walking in the street. I explain to her that it is dangerous to walk out into the street because cars drive on the road and they don't always see people walking. Basically, getting hit by a car would hurt really bad. "Big Bonk" in 2-year old language. Does she still try to spend a lot of time playing in the street. Yes.

So while the whole turtle light bulb situation was happening, I was thinking to myself, "She is so stubborn! Why would she consistently choose to do something that I tell her is not good for her eyes. That can hurt her. And then why, when she does get hurt in these situations (like when I tell her not to stand in her booster seat at the kitchen table because she could fall and hit her head....and then she falls and hits her head), why does she look at me with tears running down her cheeks as if I was the reason she fell?" Those are the thoughts running through my mind.

And then suddenly, I see myself in her. I do the same thing, all the time. Like parking in a place I shouldn't park because it's convenient--thinking this time I won't get a ticket even though I've been ticketed every other time I've parked here. And then when I get the ticket, I curse the guy who gave me the ticket. The same thing is true for me with spiritual principles--with commandments that come from Heavenly Father. And suddenly my relationship and interactions with Evie are juxtaposed with my relationship and interactions with God...except this time I am still the child. And He is telling me things He has always said--things like, "Keep the Sabbath day holy. Make it a day for spiritual things and for serving and helping others (because when you do that, you are serving and helping Me). And on this one day of the week, when you can, refrain from the normal weekday work that you do and the normal weekday recreation. And if you do this, you will be better and brighter and happier." (see Isaiah 58:13-14) And I look down and find myself wanting to tighten my grip on the silly fluff of a book that I am currently reading or wanting to sleep all day rather then put down the book or get out of bed to go do something for someone else or even just to spend quality time with my family. Things like that.

I love this quote from a talk given in a recent church conference:

"God will not act to make us something we do not choose by our actions to become. Truly He loves us, and because He loves us, He neither compels nor abandons us. Rather He helps and guides us. Indeed, the real manifestation of God's love is His commandments."

"Free Forever, to Act for Themselves" 
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I am finding this to be more and more true in my life. That God's love is manifest in the commandments He gives and in always giving us the choice to obey them or to not obey them. And then He further manifests His love in giving us someone, a Savior, who understands us perfectly and can help us up and heal us when we fall out of the chair that we deliberately climbed despite the countless warnings about the damage it would do. I am trying to love and trust my Heavenly Father the way I hope my daughter can love and trust me.

And here's a video I really like:

-Elin
Who wishes she could become an official namer of streets. How does "turn right on Whistling Wood" and "make a left on Rhododendron Way" sound? I think I have a real aptitude for that kind of work.

Another thought-provoking quote if you are still even reading this....

"To those who believe anything or everything could be true, the declaration of objective, fixed, and universal truth feels like coercion--"I shouldn't be forced to believe something is true that I don't like." But that does not change reality. Resenting the law of gravity won't keep a person from falling if he steps off a cliff. The same is true for eternal law and justice. Freedom comes not from resisting it but from applying it. That is fundamental to God's own power. If it were not for the reality of fixed and immutable truths, the gift of agency would be meaningless since we would never be able to foresee and intend the consequences of our actions. As Lehi [a prophet in the Book of Mormon] expressed it: 'If ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act or to be acted upon..(2 Nephi 2:13).'"
"Free Forever, to Act for Themselves" 
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

"Becometh as a child"

Every Sunday during Sacrament meeting, our worship service, we listen as 2 or 3 people in our congregation speak on an assigned topic. Last Sunday the first speaker was a 12 year old girl who talked about hope and faith. It was a short, simple talk that left me pondering her words all day. The meeting continued and I was watching a little 3 year old girl sitting one row in front of us. She was using stickers and crayons to quietly create her masterpiece. Once she finished, she quietly walk over to an adjacent pew and gave her picture to another little girl and then quietly returned to her seat. The little girls was so excited to get this picture and spent several minutes touching the stickers and looking at all the drawings. She then grabbed her crayons and returned the favor.

As we watched this interchange take place over about an half hour, Ben and I were both touched. Ben leaned over and whispered in my ear, “This is my favorite part today.” I agreed and thought about why it was so touching to us.

Little children are so full of love. I could give example after example of this. They are kind, innocent, and loving. I think it is because of this that we are counseled to become as little children so often in the scriptures. Here are a few: 3 Nephi 11:37, Matthew 18:3, and Mosiah 3:19 which says,

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

I hope that I can apply this to my own life and be quicker to show acts of kindness and love with humility. I’m glad we are reminded so often in the scriptures because I need frequent reminders.

-Ryanne

Who received this card last Easter from a very thoughtful niece…

Ok, this one is to Ben but mine was similar

"ben Somebunny love you"

It Me! Love Devynn