"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming.
The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities.
The means of this refinement is our Christlike love. There is no pain it cannot soften, no bitterness it cannot remove, no hatred it cannot alter. The Greek playwright Sophocles wrote: “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”15
So yesterday, while I was reading a delightful sunbeam of a book called Mother Carey's Chickens, I came across these words that I very confidently decided should be my new motto:
"No whimpering, Madam! You can't have the joys of motherhood without some of its pangs! Think of your blessings and don't be a coward."
These are the words the mother of the book says to herself when she begins to feel low or disheartened. I liked the words because I have been prone to "whimper" these days...and I have felt some "pangs" of motherhood. And I know a thing or two about being a coward. I recently gave birth to my second child and am finding it hard to know how to still give the time to my oldest child that I feel she deserves. I feel like I am failing. And the lack of sleep and being stuck in the house because it's winter and there are tons of germs that my newborn isn't supposed to be subjected to--these things aren't helping matters.
So last night, I confidently decided Mother Carey's words were going to be my motto and everything would be better the next day. Well, today wasn't any better. I didn't live by the motto and I whimpered again.
I hate failing.
Then I read the words below and they helped me through the day. That is what scripture and words of living prophets and apostles do: they bring hope and light and love. They do not lower expectations of my behavior, but they show me that Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ understand me and love me and can help me meet those expectations....be it ever so gradual.
"You are loved. You are dear to your heavenly parents. The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you. Yes, God loves you this very day and always. He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed--even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you. And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens--even when you are struggling with your own. He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly--He knows you as you really are. And He loves you--today and always."
I realize it has been quite some time since I have written a
post, but, I promise, I have a good reason. After spending a week in New York,
a weekend in Virginia, and Thanksgiving in Atlanta, we moved across the country
to Texas. That’s right, we now live in the same state as my fellow blog
authors and we are excited! Sadly, Texas is huge so we are still 6 hours from
them.
The move to Texas went well and I am so grateful that it
did. I’ve been thinking a lot about our frequent moving and the difficulties
that can bring. About every 6 months we move, leaving familiar places,
coworkers, friends, favorite restaurants, doctors, apartment or house, and
neighbors. Getting moved into completely different surroundings so often can be
disorienting, stressful, and challenging.
Somehow, amidst the difficulties, we love this lifestyle. Many
people ask us when we will settle down or put down roots and I feel like we
already have. We have settled our roots in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our
strength and comfort comes from Christ. It is through Him that we are stable
and feel peace even when everything around us changes. He heals our hearts as
we say goodbye to our friends. He comforts us when we feel lonely.
There is a scripture in The Book of Mormon that talks about
building foundations on Christ; Helaman 5:12;
“And
now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who
is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the
devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwinds,
yeah, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have
no power over you to drag you down to
the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built,
which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fail.”
My favorite part about this verse is the end. A foundation
built on Christ cannot fail. I know this to be true. I have experienced it and seen it in others.
Is it as difficult for you to do things that you know are good for you as it is for me sometimes? I've been thinking about this a lot lately and trying to figure out what it is in us that makes us resist doing healthy, happy, uplifting things even though we know they will makes us healthier, happier, and just better. I know it differs from person to person. Some people love eating vegetables and are happy to shun fatty, sugary, over-processed foods. Some people love running. Some people hate taking out the trash. Some people hate doing dishes. Some people love learning new things, reading educational books. Some people love practicing the piano. Others don't love these things at all.
Me, well there is a lot that I know I should be doing--that I know is good for me. Some of it I may have been born enjoying. Some of it is easier to do now because I've made a habit of it. Some of it, I still have a hard time making myself do it every day, even though I feel so good after I've done it. It is frustrating.
So a few months ago, I made up a motto for myself and this is it: "Do the things you know are good for you, even when you don't feel like doing them." It may seem silly, but I literally say this to myself out loud sometimes when I am staring at a plateful of vegetables or looking at the floor that needs to be vacuumed (that is a weird word) or when I find myself wanting to pass by someone who needs help carrying their groceries in from their car instead of helping them. And I find myself saying this to myself at night when I feel tired and would rather get in bed than say a prayer--or when I would rather pick up a fluffy book before I have read in the scriptures that day.
And this phrase has helped me. I still hate that I resist things that are good for me though. I came across a scripture in Jeremiah the other day that really hit home with me.
"For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13
I am a visual learner so I really like the image in this verse--the idea that not only do we too often forget and neglect the "fountain of living waters", Jesus Christ, who knows exactly what is difficult for us--who knows exactly how we feel--who knows exactly how to help and strengthen and heal us--
but in place of Him, the only water that really refreshes, cleanses, and fills, we make for ourselves and our lives, broken cisterns (pits or wells that were used to hold water) that won't even hold the water or the sustenance and joy that we thought they would give us. I feel this sometimes at the end of a day, when I have neglected to do the things that would have brought me true satisfaction and joy and replaced them with whatever sounded good in the moment--fluffy books, idleness, a movie or two. Those days feel empty to me at their end. It reminds me of these verses in the Book of Mormon:
Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies—because of the praise of the world?
Why do ye adorn yourselves with that which hath no life, and yet suffer the hungry, and the needy, and the naked, and the sick and the afflicted to pass by you, and notice them not?
So, yes, those are my ramblings for the day. Let me just say that I have hope yet that I can be better at doing the things that I know are good for me. And things like taking care of our bodies, helping others, studying the life and teachings and gospel of Jesus Christ, developing a relationship with Heavenly Father--these are the things that fill me up and make me happy. But oh how I am "prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love."-which are part of the text from the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." Take a listen....
-Elin
Who is feeling like she needs a taste of Christmas and wishes the rain would magically turn to snow.
Did you know that Anne Frank wrote: “It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.” I just recently read that and wondered to myself whether she felt the same way after she went into the concentration camp. I hope so. I've written a post about faith and hope, so now I thought I'd throw in some thoughts about charity. A prophet in the Book of Mormondefines charity as the "pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:47). And then in his great discourse on charity in 1 Corinthians 13, the apostle Paul explains that he realizes he can have a number of noteworthy character traits and attributes--but "if [he has] not charity, [he] is nothing." So apparently having this pure, Christ-like love for others is important. And as I have reflected on my life, I realize that the moments in my life that I remember most vividly and clearly, the moments that have changed me and the way I have seen myself and others and changed the way I acted, are moments when people showed me sincere, Christ-like love and mercy and kindness even though I didn't deserve it.
A couple of examples: While working at a restaurant one summer, an elderly couple ordered a cherry pie on an especially busy Friday night. As I was supposed to do, I went back to the kitchen, asked them to heat up a cherry pie, and then forgot all about it in the rush of everything else. When I passed the couple again, they asked about the pie and I apologized and hurried back to the kitchen. Another waitress had already taken my pie out to a different table. So I ordered a pie again and again forgot about it. This happened a couple of times before I finally got that pie out to the couple, 30 minutes later. By that time, they were understandably extremely agitated and all I could do was apologize, pay for the pie out of my own pocket, and apologize again. Naturally, tears welled up in my eyes while I apologized, and though the old man and woman wanted to be very angry at me and probably disparage me to my manager and leave the restaurant in a huff, they instead, saw my tears and visibly softened and felt bad for me, the harried, exhausted waitress rather than rightfully putting me in my place. I have never forgotten it.
The second experience was in college. I was taking an 8 am class (never a good idea for me) and was often a few minutes late to it. It was an English class and it was pretty small, no more than 15 or 20 people in it, and I was thoroughly enjoying the material and I really liked the professor. I just had a hard time getting up and getting to class before the bell rang. Much to my surprise, one morning after class, my professor stopped me on my way out and said something to the effect of "I have noticed that you have been late the last few days." I probably noticeably cringed, expecting a lecture on how the professor's time was important or something to that effect (I have heard professors say it to a classroom of people before....) What he said next floored me. He said, "Is anything wrong? Is there anything I can do to help you get here on time?" And he sincerely meant it. I was shocked. He probably was well aware that I was just one of those lazy people who didn't get out of bed when the alarm went off, but instead of lecturing me, he showed concern and kindness. And you know what? I was on time to that class the rest of the semester. Strange what a big of goodness and kindness can do for a person.
I recently re-watched one of my favorite movies in the world, Ramona and Beezus. And I cried at three different spots in the movie. I cried because they were moments where people were just being good and kind and it made me happy....and I cried because I am hormonal. At the end of the movie, Aunt Bea leans out the window, takes Ramona's face in her hands and says, "Ramona, you are extraordinary" and she meant it. And I started crying, because if you've watched the whole movie like I had, you knew that it was just what Ramona needed to hear. It is just what we all need to hear now and then. And yes, I know that if we are all extraordinary then doesn't that mean that none of us are extraordinary. Maybe so. But instead of looking at it that way, let's look at it as none of us are always extraordinary, so let's admire it in people in the moments where they are. Let's make those moments count and it will carry us all through the non-extraordinary moments.
I believe that people are extraordinary. I believe we are endowed with charity at times and in those moments, we feel pure and unselfish love towards people, even when they are having non-extraordinary moments. It is the kind of love that changes us and it changes them. It is love that comes from God and the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ and that if we pray for it with "all energy of heart," He will give us more (Moroni 7:48).
Today I want to just include some verses from The Book of Mormon that I read this morning, and let you ponder it yourself. For context, this is a king making his final address to his people, and takes place close to 100 BC in the ancient Americas. Mosiah 3:5-9:
5 For behold, the time cometh, and is not far distant, that with power, the Lord Omnipotent who reigneth, who was, and is from all eternity to all eternity, shall come down from heaven among the children of men, and shall dwell in a tabernacle of clay, and shall go forth amongst men, working mighty miracles, such as healing the sick, raising the dead, causing the lame to walk, the blind to receive their sight, and the deaf to hear, and curing all manner of diseases.
6 And he shall cast out devils, or the evil spirits which dwell in the hearts of the children of men.
7 And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.
8 And he shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; and his mother shall be called Mary.
9 And lo, he cometh unto his own, that salvation might come unto the children of men even through faith on his name;
"..there are times of moral danger when the hardest virtuous resolution to form is flight, and when the most heroic bravery is flight." Riah the Jew to Lizzie Hexam in Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
This quote resonated with me because I have recently been thinking about a time in my life when I looked at myself (my inner self) and did not like what I saw there. It had been a hard and emotionally taxing two or three years and when I wasn't feeling numb to everything around me, I felt anxious, lonely, angry, and with no visible way out. Up to this point, I felt like a victim of circumstance--I certainly didn't blame myself for the way I was feeling or acting. But after I truly took a look at what I had become, I realized that no matter what was happening to me externally, I did not have to be a person that I did not like or respect.
And so I started consciously trying to change my thought process, change the way I spoke and thought about myself and about other people, and even when I inwardly resisted the idea of reading scriptures and praying for help, I forced myself to do them...because I believed these things were the way I could get away from what I didn't like about myself and become what I wanted to be. What did I want to be? Happy. Not afraid. Someone who made positive contributions in the lives of other people--who made other people happy (even if just in small ways).
It wasn't easy. It isn't easy. I am not even close to being the person that I want to be yet. There are plenty of things still wrong with me. But one change happened almost immediately--I felt hope. I began to feel real, true happiness again, even if it was just for a few minutes at a time. And the hope and happiness made the rest easier to deal with. I know that God is real. I have felt hope and healing through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
What does any of this have to do with the Dickens' quote? One of the hardest things I have ever done was realizing that part of the problem with "me", was, in fact, "me"...and then deciding to get away from the parts of me that were, in part, causing the numbness and anger and loneliness. It was not a "flight" in the sense that I was running away from myself. It was a flight, in the sense that I truly faced myself for the first time and then turned away from self-destructive behaviors and patterns of thought. And it was hard.
I believe we all have to do this to some degree. Sometimes it is fleeing from inner demons (like self-pity and self-doubt and fear) and sometimes it is fleeing from outer demons (like temptation or physical harm). And always, it is a realization that you need help, be it medical, physical, emotional, or spiritual or all of the above.
What I have come to realize about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that it is a gospel of change. It is a gospel of hope. It is the promise that "God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world. But that the world through Him might be saved." (John 3:16-17) He wants us to be our "biggest, brightest selves" (to quote a friend) and only He can help us become our biggest, brightest selves. One time when I too hastily judged someone else's actions, my dad said something along the lines of: "It is not where you've been so much as where you're going that really matters." And I am starting to understand what he meant.
"The first words Jesus spoke in His majestic Sermon on the Mount were to the troubled, the discouraged and downhearted. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” He said, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”1 Whether you are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or among the tens of thousands listening this morning who are not of our faith, I speak to those who are facing personal trials and family struggles, those who endure conflicts fought in the lonely foxholes of the heart, those trying to hold back floodwaters of despair that sometimes wash over us like a tsunami of the soul. I wish to speak particularly to you who feel your lives are broken, seemingly beyond repair.
To all such I offer the surest and sweetest remedy that I know. It is found in the clarion call the Savior of the world Himself gave. He said it in the beginning of His ministry, and He said it in the end. He said it to believers, and He said it to those who were not so sure. He said to everyone, whatever their personal problems might be:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”2"
Last night as we were taking a walk, I shared some concerns
with Ben about insecurities and weakness I have. He listened patiently, put his
arm around me, and when I was through, he looked at me said, “Well, with the
Lord’s help we can make these strengths.”
I am grateful for Ben’s response to my concerns and it was
just what I needed to hear. I am even more grateful for a loving Savior who
wants us to be strong. He helps us recognize weakness and he helps us change
them into strengths. Jacob 4:7 says,
“Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we
may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the
children of men, that we have power to do these things.”
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their
weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is
sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble
themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become
strong unto them.
There are countless examples in the scriptures of this
process and I have had many experience in my life where, because of a willing,
faithful heart, I have seen people change and become stronger. I am thankful
for God’s grace and His ability to make us better.
Last night my husband, Ben, and I went to check out a new
gym with our two cousins. This gym is, as they say, legit. There are huge
chains, atlas balls, ropes, things called ‘slosh bars’, huge tires, and a whole
lot of other things that I did not recognize and cannot even imagine how to use.
We did a somewhat routine work out using the equipment we would normally use at
our normal gym. Throughout our work out the giant tires kept catching our eyes.
We all wanted to try using them before we left.
There are three different tire sizes at this gym. The heaviest
one weighs 840 pounds and the smallest weighs 250 pounds. I knew right away
that I would have to use the smallest one… the boys knew right away that they
could handle the largest. We rolled the tires outside and got to work. I looked
down at my tire on the ground and with some excitement squatted down to get a
good grip on the tire and lifted it up to flip it over, like a pancake. It was
tough but not enough to stop me after one flip. After a few rotations, I
realized the large tire was still where they put it initially and the men were
standing around it looking rather worn out. I heard Ben say that he had to try
a couple more times. I watched as he squatted down, put his hands under the
tire and hefted with all his might. The tire lifted a foot off the ground and
then, after stalling, quickly returned to the ground, with Ben on top of it.
This is when I decided to stop watching because I feared he would get hurt. I
returned to my tire but continued to listen to the guys try to defeat this
massive tire.
Eventually they lifted the tire together, put it away, and
brought out the medium size tire. The medium tire was just right for them. They
took turns flipping it over about 8 times each. When we were very much past the
point of ‘feeling the burn’ we ran home and studied the gospel together. The
topic for the night was ‘Spirituality.’
Last night and all day today I have pondered the connection
between physical strength and spiritual strength. Like physical strength,
spiritual strength does not come suddenly. Both take consistent and meaningful
effort and both can be damaged by pride. Watching the guys try to flip the tire
time after time with no success, reminded me that pride can stunt progress as
well. By the time they had brought out the other tire, I had flipped my tire
about 12 times, putting a large gap between us.
Everybody has prideful moments, but it is recognizing those
moments and humbly moving on that is important. When we humble ourselves and
strive to become spiritually strengthened, we are taking the Savior’s
outstretched hand to guide and to strengthen us. Ether 12:27 says, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
Spiritual strength brings
peace during good times and hard times. I know this from experience and I plan to
continue strengthening myself spiritually.
You know those moments in life where you suddenly realize something about yourself that had either never occurred to you before--or that you were unconsciously refusing to acknowledge? Sometimes it is small things like realizing that the reason I didn't like croutons is because I had never tried one before. (They just look so dry and crusty and brown.) Or seeing a picture of myself after 3 months of working at a desk, not exercising regularly, and eating wheat thins by the box and realizing that I was a bit on the plump side...so that's why my jeans didn't fit all of a sudden.
But I've had bigger moments of recognition that have forced me to see "things as they really are" (Jacob 4:13.) In the following passage from Charles Dickens' novel Our Mutual Friend, Mr. Podsnap is throwing a little dinner party and becomes ruffled by some unwanted comments by one of his guests: In the mean time a stray personage of a meek demeanour, who had wandered to the hearthrug and got among the heads of tribes assembled there in conference with Mr Podsnap, eliminated Mr Podsnap's flush and flourish by a highly unpolite remark; no less than a reference to the circumstance that some half-dozen people had lately died in the streets, of starvation. It was clearly ill-timed after dinner. It was not adapted to the cheek of the young person. It was not in good taste. 'I don't believe it,' said Mr Podsnap, putting it behind him. The meek man was afraid we must take it as proved, because there were the Inquests and the Registrar's returns. 'Then it was their own fault,' said Mr Podsnap. Veneering and other elders of tribes commended this way out of it. At once a short cut and a broad road. The man of meek demeanour intimated that truly it would seem from the facts, as if starvation had been forced upon the culprits in question--as if, in their wretched manner, they had made their weak protests against it--as if they would have taken the liberty of staving it off if they could--as if they would rather not have been starved upon the whole, if perfectly agreeable to all parties. 'There is not,' said Mr Podsnap, flushing angrily, 'there is not a country in the world, sir, where so noble a provision is made for the poor as in this country.' The meek man was quite willing to concede that, but perhaps it rendered the matter even worse, as showing that there must be something appallingly wrong somewhere.
Chapter 11 "Podsnappery", Our Mutual Friend, Charles Dickens
I know that example is a bit exaggerated (Dickens is good at that), but I like how it shows Mr. Podsnap's complete refusal to admit there is a problem that needs to be dealt with. I feel like throughout my life, I have had moments when I suddenly recognized some "Podsnappery" in myself. They are uncomfortable moments. Really, really uncomfortable. In these moments, the Spirit has shown me times when I have been deceitful. Times when I have judged a situation or person without seeing the whole picture. Times when I thought I understood a principle, but really only had a superficial comprehension of it. I began to dread moments like this because I felt like the more "moments of recognition" I had, the worse person I was.
And then I came across this quote:
"There can be no repentance without recognition of wrong. Whether by provocation, introspection, or wrenching remembrance, denial must be dissolved [. . .] the first rays of recognition help us begin to see 'things as they really are' (Jacob 4:13), including distinguishing between the motes and beams. Recognition is a sacred moment."
I know this might seem really obvious to everyone else, but it was an epiphany to me. Recognition is NECESSARY! Recognition is a sacred moment. Recognition is the first step to improving ourselves and the world around us. To be able to fix a problem or flaw or whatever it may be, you first have to recognize that it is there. Seriously, this concept has changed my life. I know that change is possible. I know that I can become a better person and a more aware person than I am today. Good books and people help me see this. The gospel of Jesus Christ helps me do this.
