What my Family is to me...

My mom and sisters and me

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

I've never been quite sure what Tolstoy meant by saying this...because happy families are not all alike. But maybe he just means they are all generally happy when they are together and in that way they are alike. Or maybe he means that to be happy in family life, there are a few things that are essential: things like trust, working together towards some common purposes, and loving and supporting each other. So happy families are all alike in that they are doing the things that allow them to be happy together. But doesn't that mean that unhappy families are all alike in the fact that they are not doing those essential things? I think I must be missing something. Or maybe something got lost in translation from the Russian to English. 

At any rate, I am part of a happy family and think I must be one of the luckiest human beings alive. I never doubted my parents loved me and would help me through anything. And my siblings are still my best friends. Growing up in a family like that gave me confidence in myself and in God and showed me, in a real way, that every person can make a positive difference in the world. 

Now I am married and we have our own little family. My parents made it look so easy, and I realize now, that it is not easy...I'm sure it wasn't for them and it isn't easy for us either. There is so much that gets in the way of family happiness: selfishness, pride, packed schedules, stress, finances, mistakes, outside pressures, not getting enough sleep, health problems ... I could go on forever. 

However, I believe in the principles taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints about the family and I want to live them, in a large part because my parents lived these principles (and living these principles takes work!) and it made our home and my life happy. 

"HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."

 The Family: A Proclamation to the World

-Elin
Whose brain feels fried from staring at a computer screen.